Praising God in Tough Times

It truly seems easier to praise God when things are going well and life is smooth (in our eyes). This is not rocket science. We can even have spiritual highs where we seem so thankful for the life that God has given us and for the events He ordains to occur in our lives.

Other times it doesn't feel like it comes so naturally. Life is difficult and sometimes it hurts. Occasionally it seems impossible to finish the race we have set before us. Today was one of these days.

We traveled to Madison today for what we thought was a routine growth ultrasound and pre-natal visit. It was supposed to be our last visit prior to heading down to Madison once Abi begins labor (still looking like the end of January or early February for delivery). All signs prior to today indicated that we were dealing with an isolated cleft lip and palate. It was initially troubling to hear, but we were ready for the challenge the Lord was giving us.

Our ultrasound today revealed that Titus has a dilated, and likely obstructed, bowel. We were referred over to the Children's Hospital in Madison and fortunately the pediatric surgeon had an opening to see us in the afternoon. The bottom line is that Titus is having problems in his lower intestine. One likely diagnosis is that his anus failed to develop properly and/or did not develop at all (anorectal malformation is the technical term if you would like to google it). This will usually result in the inability of the baby to pass stool. If this diagnosis is confirmed, Titus will have to be transferred to UW Children's Hospital (from Meriter hospital) shortly after birth. A surgery will will then take place a day or two after Titus is born to allow his colon to empty into a colostomy bag. Another surgery will take place after 3-4 months (or so) to place a new anal opening in Titus's bottom. And, after that surgery is healed, the colon will be reattached to the newly formed anus. Lifelong bowel problems cannot be ruled out. Now, there is a chance that other issues (either better or worse) are present with his colon, but the odds are with the one mentioned above. We will just have to wait and see.

The bigger issue now is that we have seen a pattern. It is almost inevitable that a syndrome, of some type, is present in Titus. Not knowing exactly what syndrome is quite difficult. What other problems could be present at birth are only speculative at this point. Again, we will just have to wait and see. Some time after birth we will meet with a geneticist and start putting the pieces together.

So back to my point above. Praising God is not something to be reserved for when "the sun is shinning down on me" or when "the world is all as it should be" (again, in our eyes). I take great comfort (and perhaps I have said this before) in the fact that God didn't wake up one day and say "Oh...Wow...Little Titus has a cleft palate and a some problems with his colon. I didn't see that one coming." No, God knew this would happen. God knew the parents to whom Titus would be born. God knew the birth order that Titus would come. And God promises never to give us more that he will equip us to handle. And God will work it out for good.

On the drive home from Madison a song started on the CD player by the David Crowder Band entitled "Come and Listen". The bridge in the song repeats "Praise our God, for He is Good!" That phrase was as true this morning when we left our home as it was on our return from Madison tonight. We may not be screaming it from the top of our lungs at this point, but the fact that I could even mouth the words along with the song tells me that we are on the right track.

So when we think about weeks in the neonatal ICU, 5 surgeries before his first birthday, the possibility of numerous more (possibly life threatening) diagnoses, coordinating the lives of our other 3 children (all ages 4 and under) during this time, and the rest of the unknown, it is very comforting to know that we have a God who loves and cares for us. It was this God who knit Titus together in Abi's womb. It was this God who voluntarily allowed His own son to go through pain (much worse than Titus will ever experience) in the form of rejection, betrayal, beatings and a Crucifixion in order for us to be saved from our sins and have eternal life with Him. Remembering this makes it easy for me to see how true that phrase really is.

"Praise our God, for He is Good!" (all the time!)